“Every song has a story and, every story…a song.”
I Want To Live
To Me
“...and I want to laugh uncontrollably deep. I want to live all the life given me.”
To download, click on the Download Now button. When the track appears, clock on the 3 dots on the right.
I Want To Live
I Want to Live is a declarative statement of choice between living and not living.
On a sunny morning in the winter of 2008, I woke from a long, dark nightmare. I was standing at the edge of a cliff with the icy ocean bidding me jump in below while the sun was coming out behind some ominous, heavy clouds. A voice chided me, “The ocean or the sun. Make your choice.”
It is no secret that for most of my adult life; at least 35 of my 65 years I was at the will of an unchecked Bipolar Disorder. It caused havoc and chaos in me and with my family; most significantly Marci and the children.
The years of wild mania which stripped me of any common sense, judgment, and sound choices were followed by years of deep depression and utter darkness. Over those 35 years, I had three suicide attempts; one at age 31 and quite surprisingly two within one week at age 53 after working with doctors to get stable. The process didn’t work; yet.
Following four weeks at an inpatient hospital and four weeks in outpatient treatment followed by a change in doctor and medications; the light began to shine. But that was just the dawn, for as bright as my future was becoming I had to reconcile with the knowledge that I am going to forever live with Bipolar. It is not going away. My choice was to embrace it; listen to it, learn from it, and essentially welcome it as a part of me. I can either live with it or die from it.
I chose life. But not on my own by any means.
My entire family never gave up on me. They supported me and visited me from hundreds of miles away. My children always stood by me. Linda never stopped believing in me, loving me, and being with me.
On that sunny morning in the winter of 2008, I chose the sun. I chose life. Within an hour or so; I heard this song, I Want To Live going through my head over and over and over. I wrote it down and 12 years later was able to give voice to it here.
I offer it to you as a sign of the love that you continue to give that loves me into new life, every day.
This Post Has 4 Comments
It’s been a long road David. I’m grateful beyond words for having been allowed to keep crossing paths repeatedly over our years. Only God could have known just how much that would make sense as we’ve shared our puzzle pieces. I love this song. It’s unleashed a flood right now. — I plan on unleashing it into several of my circles. — Thank you for choosing life.
Wow, I had no idea what kind of road you have been on. Every choice to live is a good one! I love this song. Jesus said, the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, but I have come that you might have life and have it more abundantly! His mercies are new every morning. We must continue to say, Your will not mine. When I am weak, He is strong. I am not my own, I’ve been bought with a price, the precious blood of Jesus Christ. Bless you Dave! I love you!
I’m so very grateful for this song! I’m so very glad you made the chose to live! …to WANT to live! Your choice to live has touched countless lives in ways you may never know this side of heaven. So very grateful to have you in my life.
And we are SO VERY THANKFUL that you chose Life, regardless of the pains, sorrows, and challenges. Your songs have ministered so very deeply to us over the years. Even in those very dark days after our son lost his battle with depression and the darkness in his soul. Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts! ( I still catch myself humming “Please Be You” and praying the words over the youth we meet.