The story behind I Am Before You is the most bizarre and embarrassing one I have to offer.  Having said that; let’s begin.

In 1983 I was hired by a very large parish to do Youth & Young Adult Ministry and Liturgical Ministries Coordinator.  The first two are work intensive enough but the Liturgy position included scheduling and training all Lectors, Altar Servers and Acolytes. It was an organizational nightmare considering the parish had 3000 families.  

Very early into my position a high school girl came into my office and volunteered to help me get organized.  I was so grateful so we set up a schedule for her that she could do.  One afternoon when she was scheduled to come by she called and said she had to go home first and asked if I would come pick her up.  I told her I’d be there in 15 minutes and off I went.

Her home was a beautiful barn shaped house on an acre or two with apple and pear trees surrounding the house.  I walked up to the front door which was open except for a screen door which was closed.  I knocked on the screen door and looked in for someone.  No one came.  I knocked a second time and then a third.  As I was beginning to knock a fourth time, the mother of my volunteer walked across the far end of the hallway from the left to the right…COMPLETELY NAKED, except for a towel in her hand.  I spun away from the entrance of the door hoping she didn’t see me seeing her.  I hesitated a moment and remaining out of sight of the door reached over with my left hand and knocked again.  My little volunteer came to the door and said, “Thanks for coming.”  I babbled something and we left in a hurry. 

For the next couple of weeks I did my very best to avoid meeting my volunteer’s mother.  If I saw her at church I left out a side door.  While shopping at a store I saw her down the aisle and quickly left my basket and headed out the door.  For some reason I had a deep fear of encountering this person after having seen her naked.  It was silly but real.

A couple of weeks after that happened, I was asked to do a concert in Renton, WA which was a good three hour drive.  I arrived a wee bit late and a nice lady met me at the entrance of the church and said, “Oh good, you’re here. We’re almost ready to begin.”  I said, “I need to change out of these sweats.” She pointed down the hall to a room to change.  I was busy changing, off with the shirt, off with the sweats and just as I had my sweats around my ankles, a nun walked in and said, “Oh. Hello.  Are you almost ready?”  

I stood there with my pants off and said, “Yes, Sister.  Almost done.”  “Good”, she said and away she went.  I was burning with embarrassment. I had a hard time focusing on finishing up and when I was finally done, I remember walking to the church, holding my guitar by the neck with the body of the guitar covering my torso area.  As it turned out, the nun was going to introduce me.  I stood behind her as she spoke into the microphone.

“We are very pleased to have with us David Firth.  I’ve enjoyed his music for a couple of years now but have never met him until tonight.  I have to say, what I’ve seen I really like.”  And then, she turned to me and winked.

I almost dropped the guitar. 

Needless to say the concert was a blur.  After it was none, the nun came up to me and said, “I hope I didn’t embarrass you.” “Well,” I began, “actually, yes you did, Sister.”  And she followed, “Oh there’s no need to be embarrassed.  I believe God wants us to see each other as we really are without all that we use to cover ourselves.”

What??? I didn’t understand that at all.  I politely said, “Thank you, Sister.” and left.  On the way home I was stewing about the whole experience as well as the experience with my volunteer’s mother and why it bothered me so much.  The reality is some people are just very shy.  I get that.  But there was something deeper for me. I began to see that there is a spiritual nakedness I believe the nun was referring to in that, no matter how or with what we try to cover ourselves from God, there is nowhere to hide.  Being who we are is God’s greatest gift and trying to cover that up doesn’t work.

“I am before you, naked Lord.  From you there is nowhere to hide.  Your open arms are enough for me.  I live unafraid in the light.”