The story behind (It’s Not) Easy was written somewhat out of frustration with the notion that, all one needs to do is turn your life over to Jesus and all will be well or, easy.  It was written while on a retreat with a group of young adults and I was there to provide the music and do a presentation.  It was my first and last retreat with a non-Catholic Protestant group.  I was young, very passionate about being an Apostle and when asked to work the retreat I had no hesitations.  I failed to do any homework.

I have many Protestant friends and I respect anyone’s choice to belong to one faith community or another.  At that moment, I had not been exposed to “needing to be born again” doctrine of this group as I thought I had been born again when I was baptised as a child.  Evidentially that wasn’t enough.  Throughout the weekend, as with most retreats, the emotional energy built with each phase of the retreat.  By Saturday night the dramatic call to proclaim Jesus as Lord and Savior and be born again was intensive.  Everyone but me went forward to “receive salvation”.  In this context the salvation being given was preceded by the offer that life would be all take care of by the Holy Spirit because their lives were given to Jesus.   I disagreed with the whole process, teaching, and emotional fervor that was used and simple played the guitar.

On the way home from the retreat I rode with the Pastor who asked why I didn’t come up to be saved on Saturday night and I told him I already was, etc.  For the next 45 minutes he tried to convince me of the message until I finally said, “You make it sound so easy.  Life isn’t easy.  Faith isn’t easy.” Unfortunately, for the next 20 minutes he quoted Scripture passages backing up his teaching.  

When I got home I was exhausted and very frustrated.  After time with the family I remember laying on the livingroom floor and closed my eyes.  I heard the words and the melody, “Easy, well I never used that word to describe the risks and challenge in live I give.”  I feel asleep there and woke up in the middle of the night still tired and aching all over. (Try not to fall asleep on a wood floor). 

I finished (It’s Not) Easy the next day.