I Can Love was inspired by many high school students I had the privilege of being with over the years as well as the Youth Ministers who served their own group. None more so than Kathy Phreaner-Carlton; lovingly known to all as Phreaner.  Because Kathy was so integral in my personal and ministerial life I have a difficult time sorting out which story with her is the one that influenced the writing of I Can Love so I’m going with this one.

Being a Youth Minister involved serving the whole person and not just their faith or lack thereof.  It meant learning how to listen, accept, support, encourage, challenge, provide opportunities, play and mostly, love.  I was always looking for training or retreats or one day workshops to help with my development and found  a Youth Ministry Organization called “Serendipity” put on a day long workshop one Saturday in Seattle. Kathy and I attended. 

The workshop was packed with well over 200 in attendance and the first thing the MC asked us to do was to get in groups of 10 – 12.  That was going to be our little “community” for the day and our first task was to go around and introduce ourself and offer one gift or talent that we feel we bring to our ministry. 

Let me pause here to set the stage a bit.  At the time, I was just beginning my music ministry.  I had written a dozen songs or more and was being asked to do concerts at various parishes in the NW.  It’s very safe to say; I was feeling very full of myself.

The sharing began.  A gal said she had the gift of service and used it to help kids get involved socially.  The next said he had the gift of art.  The next, the gift of theater (skits). The next, the gift of communication.  And then it was my turn.  I “humbly” shared I have the gift of songwriting, guitar playing and a good voice to “share the love of God in music.” The next, the gift of organization. 

It finally got around to Kathy.  She paused briefly and then let out a loud belly laugh followed by, “Oh God.  I don’t have any of those gifts. I can act, draw, sing, none of it.  All I can do is love those little critters.”

BAM! Her words and her sincerity hit me in the stomach like a belly flop into a pool. I swear, it almost took my breath away.  What she said was so close to what ministry was all about and I so very far away. “I can’t sing…but I can love.”

On the 3 hour trip home that afternoon, I heard I Can Love in my head so clearly it was as if Kathy was singing it to me in the passenger seat.  And while it took me 30 more years for the lesson to really sink in; I believe Kathy lives it every day.